Away for camp

My son left for boy scout camp yesterday. That was hard. He has never been out of my control in 15yrs. If he has been on vacation without us it has been with my parents. This time he is off on his own. Its hard to let go especially being an only child. It had to happen sooner or later. I have to constantly remind myself he is not in his room playing games, he is not at home waiting for dinner when I am running errands late, he is not going to come running in and ask what I am doing. No friends over, no loud radio for me be upset that it is too loud. I kept thinking last night as a storm passed through that he didn't pack warm enough. While I was at the store picking up some snacks for hubby I kept think Phillip would like this. As I reached out to grab hold I remembered he wasn't home today and didn't need a snack. Was worried because he forgot my jacket and only had sweaters and sweatshirts. As we were leaving my mother's house late last night I kept wanting to call out to him to come downstairs and tell his grandparents good bye so we could leave. Just strange. He comes back Saturday so we will see how well I do after a week without. Anyone else go through child withdrawals?

My baby is no longer a baby

I am sure I should have realized this before but this week was eye opening. During my son's physical for boy scout camp he was of course measured and weighed. The weight wasn't an issue. It was the sudden realization he was just inches from being the same height as his dad. At 5'10" he already towers me at half a foot.

We will be going through several milestones the next 3 years - driving a car, getting a job, taking SATs, graduating, applying to college. Being this is our only child at this point in time it is kind of sad. At the same time I feel proud. Proud that we have done our very best to raise him to think for himself and make the right decisions about his future.

They grow so fast

My one and only baby is 15 today. He is grown so much this past year especially the last 6 months. Not only is he taller than I am he is looking so grown. The hair above his lip is darkening, his voice is changing. He doesn't look like the boy I still see him as.

When you are with your children daily, you don't see the changes as clearly as others. Just suddenly one day you think my goodness you have grown. Sometimes it takes you back a bit when you suddenly realize they grew before your eyes and you didn't even notice. Doesn't make us a bad parent. We just want to harness those special years.

I think ahead to 1 year from now. In a year he will be driving, have a job, maybe a girlfriend. His 10th grade year will be coming to an end in 1 year and the decisions about his future will begin.

His time as my baby is coming to a close. In 3 years he will be a legal adult and ready to make decisions for himself. That day will come with great pride as well as great sadness. We spend 18 years teaching our children how to be the person they will one day become. We hope and pray we did all we could and hope not to look back in regret for what we were not able to do. We hope and pray they will understand why we said no to so many things. One day they will understand.