Saturday, April 4, 2009

Teachers make it diffcult for some WAHMs

I am finding my sons teachers do not understand the concept of a work at home mother. I cannot be the only one they have ever come across. The comment I get often is "since you are home all day...". What!? Yes I am physically home but that doesn't mean I can drop everything at any moment. I am a working mother just like those who work outside of the home.

This year seems to be especially difficult with many teachers as it is. My son has ADHD and as he enters puberty it almost amplifies the symptoms making it difficult to work with. Medication can only do so much and I will not over medicate so teachers do not have to accommodate his needs. This is where the comment comes in most the time. As if my being home all day will allow me to take him to school each day and go to every class.

I have never had so many teachers work against me in his moving forward in his studies and personal growth in his 10+ years of schooling. I believe some teachers feel (coming from various other comments) ADHD is something you grow out of by the teenage years and he should be able to better control himself. I am sorry but that is not the case. He is doing far better than I did in school at this age but I sometimes fear he won't be able to complete school in a regular setting with such resistance from teacher thinking old school that overactive, inattentive children have no self control and comes from bad parenting.

The other problem is teachers do not get the education they need to understand and work with such disorders. What about these children with autism? Yes many children with disorders are placed in special education but many are in inclusive classes. We all have the same goal. We just go about it differently. That goal is for our children to be at their best and get the education they deserve. Many other disorders get more exposure for what they go through and receive more accommodations, compassion, and understanding than my child who has a disorder as well. I too suffer from this disorder and every day I struggle to stay focused. I learned to adapt and most do not see what I go through.

Don't misunderstand. I am not saying mothers working outside of the mom need less support or children with other disorders should be ignored. I am just trying to wrap my head around the idea I am seen is a stay at home mother not a work at home mother and my child chooses not to control himself and stay focused and control impulses like other children.

We need ADHD awareness. It is real. It is highly misunderstood and greatly misdiagnosed. This is why we need the education and awareness. We need the funding for better research. We need the funding to better educate teachers, parents, health care providers. Where are our walks to raise awareness and donations. Where is the education so doctors are not passing on a prescription and sending us on our way. Where are the teachers that have been well taught.

There are great doctors out there. There are great teachers out there. There is just not enough. We had one up until about 4 yrs ago. His pediatrician was fabulous. He was well versed in childhood and adolescent ADHD. He worked with us. Never against. We had some great teachers in elementary school who understood and worked with him. He thrived. It wasn't until middle school (7th grade) and the loss of our doctor that he had since birth. Children with ADHD do not do well with too many changes. They like routine and habit. That is why they follow the same patterns over and over. Its what they know.

Now I just need to get next years teachers on board and hopefully squash the resistance we have felt for so long. He will be a 10th grader next school year, learning to drive, following with a job to start in the summer before 11th grade. Maybe I can finally get these teachers to understand I do work. I just happen to work from home. Maybe they will learn I have to schedule meetings just like everyone else. I can't always take their calls at anytime during non-emergencies. I can't do their job with just a phone call putting my child on the phone to tell him please just get through the class without her calling me again. And maybe I can keep teachers from punishing him for what he has no control over and using a zero as punishment. Until then I will campaign to change their thinking of WAHMs and ADHD.

1 comment:

Laura said...

Makes me glad that I homeschool.